My kids love to dream 6 months in advance about their birthday party theme. NOT because we go overboard decorating every inch, shopping extravagantly, or hiring wild entertainment. Our planning usually includes recycled cardboard boxes, marker signs, home made cakes, and costumes they already own!

I think, instead, they like to because they like to have say in how their day is celebrated and love to see their favorite hobby, character or theme enjoyed by all too. It honors what they like over what I would choose. This year we’ve celebrated with Star Wars and snakes. Probably not what I would have chosen……

So, in the vein of considering all traditions here, there is occasionally the odd event: the Grown-up Birthday Party. We very rarely have a party for us parents but my children often ask what I want MY theme or decorations to look like. Well, grown-ups don’t usually have themes and themed cakes like we do specially for the kids…But they COULD!

Some things to consider for an intentional birthday

 

1.  What would be meaningful to the person being celebrated? Do they like party games? Would a quiet dinner with three friends be more fitting for them? What kind of attention can they tolerate or do they crave? What activities would make for a fun event for them, even if it’s not what you usually do at a party? Would they love a grown-up superhero theme, or a frilly Tea Party? I love music, and costumes and everything history and my husband bought me a retro record player one year and asked my friends to each bring a record and dress up like their musical artist to a party for me. And they ALL did!! So much fun!

 

2.  Do they really like cake? For many birthdays we made a huge pan of cake that  goes to waste because no one really likes it that much at my house. What about going out for ice cream? Or birthday pie? Forget that you must have frosted cake and candles and treat them with what their favorite is. Great time to start your own tradition.

 

3.  How can they be remembered or honored on this day? You are gathering to celebrate their birth after all, and it’s a good opportunity to reflect on their impact in this world. Why not make a list of good memories or provide an opportunity for guests to write some down? Remember to honor them also by not doing what might embarrass them. Sombrero Serenade at the Mexican restaurant?

 

 

4.  Can I give an experience or my time over things? Is there some place nearby they’ve always wanted to go, something they’ve wanted to try, a lesson they’ve wanted to take? What free opportunities can you find? I’ve tried to move toward offers of things that we can do together. Sometimes this can be a loving, sacrificial gift if it’s not one of your interests, like going to the shooting range or a pottery class. For gifts we have aimed to pick up on what each other’s interests are or what they are moving toward and try to support that, like some camping gear for an upcoming trip he is dreaming about.

 

 

For my husband’s recent 40^th birthday I invited about 20 friends and relatives over. He can handle a crowd.

I wanted to find a way to incorporate people important to us but who lived too far away to come. So I emailed relatives and friends from high school and college and asked them to share a funny or memorable story about him. At the party I read them aloud and had him guess who the author was and add to the story (or defend himself!). It turned out to be a great mix of weird pranks and pivotal, spiritual conversations, which is a good summary of him.

 

 

His parents and friends threw in some other tales and it was hilarious and touching. I strung up a timeline of pictures from his 40 years in the living room and the kids and I made a list of 40 words or memories that best characterize our family to hang over the fire place. We enjoyed a buffet of pies, which he prefers over cake, and ended the evening praying for God’s blessing and direction for his next 40 years. We spent an evening focused on how he has impacted others and how that is not forgotten. Overall, it was pretty simple but filled with meaning toward him and for us as guests surrounding him.

One guest told me it was the most meaningful birthday party he had ever been to.                And that’s all I wanted.

 

We may not do character-themed plates and pinatas as adults but it can still be a day to look forward to and remember!

 

How does your family do birthday parties for the adults?

Do you have a unique tradition you love?

What about for Milestone birthdays?

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