In a previous post, “Family Meetings: unexpected family quality you won’t want to miss“, we shared reasons why it has benefited our family to have a dedicated time to review our schedules, pray together and discuss some problems with a little distance from the issue. In this time we have dealt with emotions, hurts, scheduling conflicts and made it fun by singing together or playing a game too.

Today I want to share with you 2 examples of how Family Meetings work in other homes and hope it may help you to start a new tradition too.

Meet Sarah’s family!

Sarah has 4 kids under 12 so I picture her meetings as full of energy!

Sarah, When or how often does your family have a Meeting? 

We don’t have a weekly one although I feel like we’re moving in that direction. We probably meet more like once a month or once every other month.

What are some questions you discuss at  your family meeting?

• What things are we doing well as a family right now?
• What do we need to work on?
• What are some things you’d like to see change?
• Name something you think God is calling you to grow in?
• How have you grown in the area we discussed last time we met? (Usually we would do the second question first and we all mention ways that we’ve seen them grow…. Then look ahead by praying and asking God to show them an area of growth).
• Is there anything you’ve been holding against your brother or sister that you need to forgive them for?
• Is there something you’d like thank your siblings for?
• What are some goals to discuss for the year?
• What vacations would like to do together or experiences we’d like to share?

 

What are you speaking or teaching to your kids during Meeting time?

We’ll talk about how things are going as a family -what’s been working & what hasn’t. My husband and I will talk about things were noticing in the children that is really great, like an improvement or something they worked on since last time we met, and we’ll also suggest areas of needed Improvement (behaviorally or the condition of their heart) And any wounds that we might be holding that we need to ask forgiveness for, that we haven’t been able to until then (this is usually when we notice that one of them is acting out towards the other because of a hurt and they don’t even realize it).

We also pray together as a family, coordinate schedules, and plan out when Dad and I are going to take each of them on a date.

 

I love Sarah’s emphasis on listening to and healing the heart, and speaking encouraging words that bring life into noticing what God is doing. We also need to notice in our children’s behavior what it is they are asking for. Acting out or selfishly is often a cry for a little more personal attention or expressing a disappointment. But talking regularly about forgiveness, thankfulness or hurts will create a great habit in their communication. If we can pay attention to their warnings, we can intercept some negative thoughts that are brewing inside and help them to process these toward healing and believing truth. 

 

 

Meet Eileens’ family!

As a mother of 12 kids, I’d lean on her to share secrets on how to bring order to many schedules and needs! Here’s what they do:

 

What does the meeting time in your house look like?

Our weekly meetings are casual and simple, sometimes silly but mostly to discuss business like: coordinating schedules, sharing plans, making requests. We do sometimes dream together about what we’d like to do for a vacation/trip/holiday.

We open with prayer, sometimes sing a hymn. Sometimes we have a prayer time with everyone praying, especially if we are seeking God’s guidance.

How long does it last?

Maybe 20-60 minutes. The more folks in the home (we often had two exchange students in addition to our own children), the longer it takes to coordinate schedules. The more drivers, the more we have to figure out who needs a car for what!

What is the purpose of your Meetings?

Our meeting is helpful for communication so that we can function! Also, to pray together for our family, our activities, and for direction in our plans.

We go through the coming week and discuss anything special coming up. If I am going to be away at mealtime, I ask who can prepare the meal for me.

 

I think thinking through the week ahead of time is a great way for your children to feel like they are an important part of your decisions and activities. I know mine like to be prepared if a sitter is coming over or if we are going on a trip. They seem to feel more settled knowing what is ahead of us.  And what a great opportunity to divide up responsibilities and for our children to see that in order for us to live busy lives, we may also need their help! I appreciate how they have a lot practically to coordinate, but also surround these details with asking for God’s guidance. There should be no distinction between the sacred and secular in our lives and what we model will become their habit of thinking as well. 

 

• What is one question from Sarah’s meeting that you would like to ask in your house?
• Do you desire for more organization or better communication with your schedules?
• Are you noticing that hurts or arguments are going undealt with in your house?
• Would you enjoy a dedicated time to share lessons or songs with your children and to pray together?

 

Then, serious or silly, messy or organized, a Family Meeting may just be what your family needs to reach your goals together.

 

 

 Other articles about Intentional Parenting you may enjoy:

• Why Easter is the Hardest Sunday of the Year for Me
• 5 Ways to Hold onto their Childhood
• To Whoever Took our Bike: We are Praying for You

 

We participate with a collection of other faith-centered blogs every week on Salt & Light linkup!